You ever try and go to sleep only to find you can't?
It's late, you've had a few beers/a glass of milk/gotten high, or whatever your preferred method of relaxation is, and you're lying in bed. The lights are off, you're comfortable and - depending on your situation - your boyfriend/girlfriend/companion/lover/cat/awful empty space is already sleeping contentedly. You lie back, close your eyes and... your mind continues to go insane.
You work out plans for the next day. You think about what you've read, seen, or listened to during the day. You analyze the ways in which you could have done something better, or could do something worse in the future. You think about the ways you could make your schedule more effective. You wonder what it would be like to have a kid and how you'd convince them to take medication. You mentally invent a new dish you proudly label Mac N Cheese Deluxe. You write out plot points and new melodies with counterharmonies. Disconnected stanzas float through your head and a bizarre mash-up of Metric and The Doors becomes your sudden fixation. And it just won't stop.
It takes me, on average, a full hour of lying in the dark to get to sleep. I've gotten used to it and even appreciate the kind of mental calisthenics my brain seems to have prepared for me when I go lie down. But at a certain point I want to sleep, and there's something about the way I function that won't let me do that, at least not right away. There's always another problem or another idea behind the one I've just unraveled, and I can't stop the flow - I wouldn't even know where to begin - until I get so caught up in it that I get distracted and fall asleep.
It's hardly a complaint. I get plenty of sleep, but most of that is caused by simply waking up in the morning and deciding to close my eyes again until there's a PM on a clock. "That's a problem for the Thibault that wakes up tomorrow." However, it is a chronic occurence and I was wondering if anyone here has the same experience.
Not insomnia - to refer to what happens to me (aside from the odd occasion when I can't sleep until 8 or 9 AM) by that name trivializes it - but rather a persistent and overwhelming tendency to continue working through your own thoughts. It isn't any different from what I do during the day, but you'd think I'd run out of stimuli to overexamine by the time my head hit the pillow.
Perhaps I'm just crazy. I think I might be cool with that answer too. For now I think I'll just head to bed. Night.