So, this guy I work with was shot and killed last night
I found out this morning (got called in to cover his shift).
It's really weird....I knew the guy, but not as well as everyone else did. From what I can tell, he was pretty cool --- we used to mess around a lot, he always came in about an hour before I had to leave. Everybody at work is really upset (understandably), and the GM is even considering closing the store for a day so everyone can go to the funeral.
I feel kinda weird, though....I dunno if it's because I'm an atheist or because of something else, but I've already sort of made my peace with the concept of death --- the fact that people die, sometimes unexpectedly, doesn't really contradict anything I believe about the world, so it doesn't really "surprise" me in that sense, even though I do have some kind of emotional response to it. I mean, I was still a bit taken back by it (I mean, damn, the guy got shot standing outside a club, he wasn't doing anything at all, just hanging out, that could've been me on another night), but it didn't stick with me and make me question my life or my motives or my beliefs, or anything, like it seems to be doing with other people. I didn't even try to bring THAT one up, for obvious reasons, but I was still curious: Is it "weird" that I'm not having some kind of massive emotional reaction to this?
I'm not saying that to sound all jaded and cool, either; I actually get this feeling like maybe I'm too emotionally-detached from the concept of death. But death was something that always worried me when I was a kid; I thought about it a lot, and I feel kinda like I've come to terms with it (I mean, I'm really not "scared" of death, myself, even though I still try to avoid it at all costs --- but that just seems like the natural reaction to me, nothing really profound about it). But at the same time --- maybe even just due to some weird kind of "peer pressure" --- I can't help but wonder if I'm just being a dick to myself about it, in some weird way, like denying my emotions or something.
I dunno. Perhaps none of this makes sense? In any case, the question I'd like to ask that would help me out the most right now is, How do you (or would you, if it hasn't happened to you) deal with the death of a friend, coworker or family member? Do you think you could handle it? Or do you think it would shake your beliefs or make you uncertain about things?
I hope this doesn't seem too cold of me...but I was kinda hoping to get some kind of perspective on how people see death.
Last edited by Static_Martyr; 12-05-2010 at 03:56 PM.
For all the things that I never did
For all the places I never was
For all the people I never stopped
But there was nothing I could do..."