Woke up this morning..
..and didn't get myself a gun. But if I knew today will pass this way, maybe I'd considered to get one. Not to blow my brains out of course, but a sound of a firing weapon could quite jazz up my day. Shooting ranges are still a knot for me.
My cell-phone's alarm ringed at 7 am. (By the way my cell and my laptop always stand open my bedside during night time- I guess it's a very, very bad habit.) It took 45 minutes to get my ass up. And nearly for 14 hours
I never left my room, except getting food and answering call of nature. Wasn't there something for me to do, of course there was. I could study, pay some bills or call my friends and hang out with them. But I didn't. I spent the all day resting passively. Like the way I did in many days of 2010. It was a lazy, dilatory day all again.
What's bugging me is not today's passed that way again. What's bugging is it didn't had to pass that way. When I speak to my psychologist he's saying that I'm a brilliant and intelligent person, and doing anything is
possible for me when I want it to be done. He's saying that the only problem with me is my lack of determination to carry out my thoughts to life. And he's right. That is the main problem in my life. My dad says it's a
I don't know what I'm gonna do on new year's eve- probably I spend in a shitty way also- But my main expectation from year 2011 is me getting over this issues and get myself more confident, more aware of my responsibilities to year 2012, and getting me more closer to what I am worthy of.
"All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."
- Samuel Beckett
"Try not. Do.. or do not." - Yoda
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