Think of things that would make you the biggest asshole imaginable. I mean, you don't even have to personally find them funny or anything, as long as it's a dick thing to do.

-A father dragging his daughter through the halls in school and yelling "My daughter was late for school today because she had diarrhea!" just to teach her not to be late.

-Unbuckling someone's seat belt and then crashing on purpose.

-Driving into a graveyard and ruining a funeral with heavy metal music.