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Thread: Mending a relationship

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Miss_1565 View Post
    Really good advice here for Dexternumbers. I would add that it's tempting to feel like this relationship is super important, because it's relatively early on for you. But a good lesson for you to learn now is that everyone deserves to be with someone who wants to be with them, autistic people included.
    As true as this is, I do think he wants to be with me. I honestly love him too much(age doesn't matter) to let him go. It would hurt me a lot if he left me, but if he doesn't want to be with me I will wait for him to leave me. I can't do it. Plus, if I do and he does really love me like he says he does(I think he does) and he is just immature right now, it will hurt him. I'm not trying to argue your advice, I just don't think letting go is a good idea.

    Edit: There was also something I wanted advice on that I know I can change, I just don't know how. I know this is not all his fault. I want to make it easier for him too, by changing what I am at fault for. I know this sounds remarkably stupid but how can I be less clingy? It seems simple enough but it is actually hard for me when I don't talk to him. I also need to find ways to take things a little bit less personally. I am over sensitive and I don't quite know how to change. I know these things seem easy but they are struggles for me and I figured somebody on here must have similar issues that they have gotten past.
    Last edited by dexter12296566; 06-25-2012 at 08:46 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    Reading this thread made me throw up.
    Because I'm already sick and the color scheme must have set me off. Sorry about that.
    Quote Originally Posted by XYlophonetreeZ View Post
    Also, sometimes I'm not sober. Sometimes I make threads when I'm not sober.
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  2. #32
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    +1
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  3. #33
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    First off, I think people don't have enough conversations in person anymore. I hate it when people want to have a big discussion via text. Or email. Or instant messenger. Or whatever. People don't feel the need to hold themselves accountable when you aren't face to face. They say things that they wouldn't say in person. I still stand by the "go to his house" thing I said earlier. Go to his house, knock on the door, and make him face you in person. If he is just mad, you can talk it out. And Sarah is right. I don't care how big a fight we just had, if I say "I love you", Wil always says it back, even if we can't stand the sight of each other. If he won't talk to you, then it really is time for you to let go.

    Don't argue the "autistic and immature" angle. You have grown up A LOT in the three years you've been posting on here. Other people have remarked about it in this thread and elsewhere. In your posts, you sound like a 17 year old girl. This guy is 15. 15! I've never met a fifteen year old boy that acts like anything other than a fifteen year old boy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Miss_1565 View Post
    Or what? Or you'll leave as soon as someone returns your rudeness and delete all your posts? I'm so scared.

  4. #34
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    To be fair, if I say I love you to him, he ALWAYS says it back too. No matter what. Same with me. I feel like the things he does when things go well almost cancel it out. I know it doesn't, but it seems that way. We argue and we aren't getting along at the moment but he really is a sweet guy and I do love him.
    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    Reading this thread made me throw up.
    Because I'm already sick and the color scheme must have set me off. Sorry about that.
    Quote Originally Posted by XYlophonetreeZ View Post
    Also, sometimes I'm not sober. Sometimes I make threads when I'm not sober.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega Man View Post
    You're too late. I've already infiltrated the Offspring forums. Next, it's the world!
    Quote Originally Posted by MOTO13 View Post
    Cranking it into a red solo cup while watching 40 year old re-runs of I Dream of Jeanie all the while snorting black pepper and knocking back shots of Jack.

  5. #35
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    If he is ignoring you, he isn't saying it back...
    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Miss_1565 View Post
    Or what? Or you'll leave as soon as someone returns your rudeness and delete all your posts? I'm so scared.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllIn All It's Not So Bad View Post
    How do you put someone on the ignore list?
    You go to user CP, click edit ignore list, and type in Lord Phidias. Easy as 1 2 3.
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  7. #37
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    Reading this thread made me throw up.

    Because I'm already sick and the color scheme must have set me off. Sorry about that.

    In any case, the advice people have given here is pretty basic, sensible stuff. It's also honest, and allows for the adult possibility that things may not last.

    It's a difficult step to take to realize that things are - or might be - over at this juncture, but realizing that possibility is already an important step down the road to emotional maturity and stability. Hell, it's something even most adults don't have a decent handle on. People may not always be honest with you, but you can always make efforts to be in touch with what you yourself are actually feeling about the state of affairs.
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  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    Reading this thread made me throw up.

    Because I'm already sick and the color scheme must have set me off. Sorry about that.
    This... It made me laugh way harder than it should have...
    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    Reading this thread made me throw up.
    Because I'm already sick and the color scheme must have set me off. Sorry about that.
    Quote Originally Posted by XYlophonetreeZ View Post
    Also, sometimes I'm not sober. Sometimes I make threads when I'm not sober.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega Man View Post
    You're too late. I've already infiltrated the Offspring forums. Next, it's the world!
    Quote Originally Posted by MOTO13 View Post
    Cranking it into a red solo cup while watching 40 year old re-runs of I Dream of Jeanie all the while snorting black pepper and knocking back shots of Jack.

  9. #39
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    I think you really have to sit down with him and talk it through. Completely. And if he doesn't agree to that, then tell him where to go.

    Me and my boyfriend were having pretty big problems - well, he thought I had cheated on him (I hadn't) and he never mentioned it and let it eat him up until he finally blew up and went crazy at me. And he never really got over that until one day I called over and we talked about everything that pissed us off, everything we felt insecure about with regards to each other and so on and on and on, until everything was off our chests, and we've been perfect ever since. Even better than before.

    But you need him to want to sort things out, otherwise it's pointless. And by what you're saying it seems pretty pointless. If ye are still having problems now, since December, I'd say let it go, not worth the worry and stress.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alison View Post
    I think you really have to sit down with him and talk it through. Completely. And if he doesn't agree to that, then tell him where to go.

    Me and my boyfriend were having pretty big problems - well, he thought I had cheated on him (I hadn't) and he never mentioned it and let it eat him up until he finally blew up and went crazy at me. And he never really got over that until one day I called over and we talked about everything that pissed us off, everything we felt insecure about with regards to each other and so on and on and on, until everything was off our chests, and we've been perfect ever since. Even better than before.

    But you need him to want to sort things out, otherwise it's pointless. And by what you're saying it seems pretty pointless. If ye are still having problems now, since December, I'd say let it go, not worth the worry and stress.
    Talking it out is why he doesn't really want to hang out. He refers to talking it out as "cryfests" because we always end up upset. There is one major problem that he promised to change, and has worked on it but he still does it. I think most of the stupid little problems and fights I pick come from that. It's pretty much been eating away at me and I have brought it up but not much has changed. Now I just figure if I bring it up when he is trying to change, even if he does it, it's considered bitching. I'm confused because he tells me it isn't my fault, then gets upset with me. He says he wants to change, but then he says I am picking fights when I bring it up. He says he wants everything to be better but talking out issues is a cryfest. I am really confused and completely at a loss. In the beginning everything was perfect. We always got along. Then the problem kind of came up. I didn't say anything and we still got along for the most part. Then I confronted him about it and things changed for a while. Now every time we hang out it sucks because we don't have fun or do anything anymore, we are constantly trying to fix issues. I have told him straight out that I was fine in the beginning and then it wore on me. Then I became the way I am in the relationship. I still think this is true for the most part and a lot of the stupid fights come from one place which as some people have said, is usually how it goes. Now I don't want to call him because I feel like I would seem almost weak or needy... I am waiting for him to call me, but he hasn't called or texted at all in two days... I know he doesn't have minutes so I'm hoping that tomorrow when he is at his dad's where he has internet he'll call on Skype but I feel like I'm kind of a sucker in all of this. I feel like the protagonist in Self-Esteem, almost.

    Also, I'm not really trying to dump all of my relationship shit on you guys, I am just at a loss and the people I thought could help that I've talked to in person haven't helped at all.
    Last edited by dexter12296566; 06-26-2012 at 06:17 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    Reading this thread made me throw up.
    Because I'm already sick and the color scheme must have set me off. Sorry about that.
    Quote Originally Posted by XYlophonetreeZ View Post
    Also, sometimes I'm not sober. Sometimes I make threads when I'm not sober.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega Man View Post
    You're too late. I've already infiltrated the Offspring forums. Next, it's the world!
    Quote Originally Posted by MOTO13 View Post
    Cranking it into a red solo cup while watching 40 year old re-runs of I Dream of Jeanie all the while snorting black pepper and knocking back shots of Jack.

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