Some butthurt asshole Republicans decided they wanted in on this new meme, wherein they're trying to petition the federal government to secede from the Union. All because a fucking black guy got elected.

(If you're not from Alabama, don't even TRY to explain to me how this isn't a race issue. I talk to people in this state every day. Trust me, it's a race thing. Most of these idiots don't even know what Obama's policies ARE, much less know enough about him to want to secede based on his policies alone.)

I really need to move the fuck out of this backwater state before I get lynched for living in the 21st century. Seriously. Didn't we have a war that settled this?