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Thread: Quentin Tarantino's next movie

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    425


    Default Quentin Tarantino's next movie

    Will be set during the Trail of Tears. It will start with seven minutes of evil US Cavalrymen holding down Indians and injecting smallpox into their eyes. The main US Cavalryman will be ridiculously evil, but still be charming and affable enough to be the most likable character in the movie. After the seven minutes of villain establishment, the rest of the four-hour movie will just be scene after scene of a ragtag bunch of misfit Indian guerrillas and their inexplicably caucasian war-chief slaughtering US Cavalrymen like crazy. There'll be two hundred references from unknown horror films and kung flu flicks from the 1970's, and at least twelve homages to arthouse Japanese directors. There'll be lots of torture and crucifixions and every time somebody bumps their knee their entire body will explode into 40,000 gushing gallons of blood and pieces of bone. Quentin Tarantino will play a cameo as a white guy who has lots of black friends and says 'nigger' a lot around his black friends and none of his black friends mind. This cameo will have no relevance to the plot, but Samuel L Jackson will defend it in at least four press interviews. The movie climaxes with the ragtag bunch of Indians conquering the United States and becoming the presidents of the United States and writing laws to make it so they get to keep their tribal land, just like what happened in history.

    You heard it here first.



  2. Default

    I love this post so much, I wish I could marry it.

    edit: wtf, since when am I a senior member?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    319


    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by prettyflyforablackchick View Post
    I love this post so much, I wish I could marry it.

    edit: wtf, since when am I a senior member?
    You become a senior member when your post count hits 100, I think.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    1,044


    Default

    Looking forward to it, thanks.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Transmetropolitan
    Posts
    6,452


    Default

    I'd watch it.
    I wrote a four word letter.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Salem, MA
    Posts
    943


    Default

    That guy sucks worse than shit.
    Quand ils ont dis "Vous vous asseyez," je me suis levé.

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