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Thread: Who DOESN'T want children?

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  1. #1
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    Default Who DOESN'T want children?

    I've never wanted children, ever, in my life. I was always (and still am) faced with smiles and "Ah, sure you're still young, all you need is the right man" type responses (or even worse, "I bet you'll be the first to have kids/You'll have the most kids out of all of us!"). I find this really condescending. I'm 23 now, and I feel that if I still don't ever want children now, then I still won't in 5-10 years time.

    I just have no maternal instinct whatsoever, and find ways of avoiding interacting or holding my baby cousins, and kids in general. I started babysitting last December, and the whole thing has completely dissolved any tiny notion that maybe one day I will change my mind.

    So, anyone else here that would rather never have children?

  2. #2
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    I hear you on this one. I too, never wanted children. It bugs me when people assume that's what you are "supposed" to do. Get married, have kids, and work. I'm sorry to disappoint but not everyone has to follow that route.

    With that being said, you are young. 23 is such a great age, but depending on your experiences in life, you may have some changes in opinions between now and then. I am 29 and still not sure about having kids. When I was 23 I didn't even want to fathom that concept.

    I was just having a conversation with a friend of mine about this two days ago. She got married two years ago and just had a baby a few months ago. Cute kid, I love being her "aunt". Then she started hounding me... I got the "times runnin' out" speech. I hate that crap.. cause that's what it is crap.

    I told her that I always felt like I want more than 'settling down' (not that settling down is bad by any means) I just feel like life's too short to not get out and try every possible experience that you can have. I'm already stuck in a desk job because I never chased what I wanted to do when I was younger. I've got do it now! I'm still trying to decide what I want to be "when I grow up".

    Whew, that was off subject, but anyway Hope another perspective can help!
    Last edited by IxnayontheLindsay; 06-20-2013 at 12:04 PM.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by IxnayontheLindsay View Post
    I'm still trying to decide what I want to be "when I grow up".
    I'm glad I'm not the only one!


    I always tell myself that if I end up really wanting to have children (pah!), then I should adopt (even though I'm pretty sure you can't here unless you physically can't conceive).

  4. #4
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    You know, I'm a firm believer if you truly want to do something, you will know that you will want to do it.
    Passion will outweigh your thoughts and tell your brain to go for it and nothing will get in your way. Whether that's kids, life, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alison View Post
    I'm glad I'm not the only one!


    I always tell myself that if I end up really wanting to have children (pah!), then I should adopt (even though I'm pretty sure you can't here unless you physically can't conceive).

  5. #5
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    22 and I have no plans on having kids. I mean, things could change, but I'm in no hurry.

    It pisses me off that people get hassled about having kids and getting married and all that, especially younger people. Like, no 24 year old needs to be married with kids and it's no ones responsibility to make grandchildren for their parents. I don't know, it just seems like a shitty thing to do to me.
    I wrote a four word letter.

  6. #6
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    It is unwise to say you know for a fact that you'll never want children, because you don't get to just decide that sort of thing. You are only young, and chemicals in your brain might change as you get older, perhaps you'll fall in love and all the shitty lovechemicals will turn you into a gooey maternal mess. Or perhaps you'll plummet into clinical depression and kill yourself, for no discernible reason. Perhaps you'll start feeling the urge to roam the streets at night murdering prostitutes. Who knows? Biological urges aren't something you can just think about and say "Naaaah.". They're chemicals that live in your brain and decide what you'll feel, what you'll think and what you'll do, and they're subject to change without notice.

    That said, it's condescending as fuck to assume you'll definitely change your mind later, let alone tell you so. Plenty of people don't change their minds. Plenty of people do. But keep in mind that the people telling you that you'll change your mind are doing it because they almost certainly felt exactly the same way as you at some point, and then all their brains got jacked by those gooey love-hormones. They think they're sharing a wisdom with you, gained from experience in their own life. Keep in mind also, that at some point in their life, every single one of those people felt just as patronised by people telling them they'll change their mind someday. And then smile, because human nature's a funny thing. We don't let anyone tell us a damn thing, but after we find it out on our own we wonder why nobody listens to us.

  7. #7
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    I don't ever wanna have kids either. I hate when people "oh, you're still young, you have pently of time, you'll change your mind". It's definitely not a dream of mine, I don't ever want that to happen to me. I'm just not a kid person.

  8. #8
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    I've always wanted kids, but when I look at parents on public transportation I can't help but feel that I can wait another 5-10 years.
    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    I do no be following, fortune prick me if I do no.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelchairman View Post
    I've always wanted kids, but when I look at parents on public transportation I can't help but feel that I can wait another 5-10 years.
    This sounds so familiar to me.
    Do you think you‘d sell your soul
    To just have one thing to turn out right?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelchairman View Post
    I've always wanted kids, but when I look at parents on public transportation I can't help but feel that I can wait another 5-10 years.
    Completely with you on this...

    Except that I also think this will be even harder if I'm a 40 year old mum.

    So yeah... A few years would be nice.

    Alison, although I do want kids, I completely understand that some wouldn't. But if these kind of answers come from parents and family... well... that's normal... Parents (usually) wanted to become parents. So very logically, they want to become grandparents
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