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Thread: Who DOESN'T want children?

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    The childfree, on the other hand - perhaps in response to that pressure - despise children. They hate their presence, their suggestion, the smell of them, their voices... everything.
    I'm not sure here if you meant that some childfree people are like this, or that this is often generally true of childfree people... I hope the former, because I consider myself childfree (and so are many of my friends - some are like me, as in we might eventually, and others who really never will) but I love kids. I taught kids for a couple years, and now I teach teenagers. And they freaking love me. Childfree doesn't mean you dislike kids... sometimes it just means they're not for you as a full-time deal, and other times it just means you're not sure/ready.

    And for llamas, a short PS concerning adoption - if I have a kid, I would prefer it be my genetic material. I'll be up front about that. Somehow it's pretty selfish to buy into the bloodline/genetic material narrative. I agree with that. But understanding it doesn't make me want it any less. I would adopt, certainly, but only if my preference for my own genetics was somehow unworkable. I don't really have a defense for it, and I'm not particularly interested in formulating one because I see no purpose to the argument. It's just a preference.
    Yeah, this is the most common response I hear from people who wish to birth a child themselves (the second most common is super defensive haha). I wouldn't expect anyone to give a better justification for it - there *is* no purpose to the argument. I just wish that most people who birth children could see that there's no good reason for it, and not judge people who don't want to birth children. I really don't care if people birth their own children instead of adopt - I'm not even remotely preachy about that because I do respect biology and hormones and all that. But the thing is, I have a legit reason I can explain regarding why I want to adopt... and yet it's still often thrown out as inferior, not actually legit. It drives me nuts.

    Otherwise, I generally agree with you. I don't know why people care so much about whether or not others have kids. One of my friends' wife is now pregnant with their third kid. Other friends immediately started badgering him about his environmental footprint, why did you need to do that? On the other hand, I'm friends with a couple who is and will always be childfree by choice (the girl is in her late 30s, guy late 40s), and a few weeks ago a friend said to me, "It's such a shame that they'll never have kids." None of these comments serve any purpose. Tom and his wife chose to have 3 kids. So what. I think 3 is too many, but so fucking what. It's not my life. Dan and his wife chose to have no kids. Again, so what. None of this stuff is anyone's business but their own.
    Last edited by Llamas; 06-22-2013 at 03:51 PM.
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  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    The childfree, on the other hand - perhaps in response to that pressure - despise children. They hate their presence, their suggestion, the smell of them, their voices... everything.
    Not sure if you're being serious here...

    If you are....I think that's pretty unfair. Sure, I hate kids, but I know people who don't have children, and don't want to have children, but still like them.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alison View Post
    Sure, I hate kids, but I know people who don't have children, and don't want to have children, but still like them.
    They're called priests.

    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    I would adopt, certainly, but only if my preference for my own genetics was somehow unworkable. I don't really have a defense for it, and I'm not particularly interested in formulating one because I see no purpose to the argument. It's just a preference.
    It's not just a preference. It's why you exist. That's why you don't need to defend it.

    I accept some people may not feel this urge. It could be a biological defect or a more complex result of humans being such social creatures. Regardless, there is no need for anyone to defend themselves either way. Like Baldwin explained we're all just slaves to chemistry.

    I personally don't particularly want children but my reasons for that are intellectual. I still feel a strong biological urge to reproduce. I simply choose to repress it, or have so far. The urge can be rather strong though and I may not choose to resist it forever.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alison View Post
    It's not just that I'm "selfish"(I hate when people use this argument about not wanting children. Like, what?!) and I want all the freedom and none of the responsibility, but I just don't think I would be a good mother.
    I also despise that argument. People who intentionally have children are being selfish. People who intentionally don't are doing everyone a huge favour. It's such an outdated idea that we all have some sort of responsibility to reproduce. It's really laughable.

    Quote Originally Posted by Llamas View Post
    I don't know why people care so much about whether or not others have kids.
    Oh, sure you do. It's because they desperately need to believe that they are 100% correct in all things. If someone does something totally opposite to them it has to be wrong or the entire universe would surely collapse. You see examples of people like this here all the time.
    Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Bill Hicks

  4. #24
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    There are two questions that people like to ask a married couple ALL THE TIME:

    1) So, how's married life?
    2) When are you guys planning to have kids?

    I get the second almost exclusively from people who have children of their own, friends and total strangers alike. Like, I know I do want kids, but who are these people to assume that we are even thinking about it at the tender ages of 23 and 25??? One of my friends has asked me at least a dozen times, because she desperately wants to see what our blonde/red-headed mixed babies are going to look like... You can't give them any sort of definite answer, either. If you say anything more finite than, "I know we want them, but we haven't even talked about it.", then you get bugged relentlessly. I told one of my best friends that we were talking about it and I have gotten a text almost every single day since, asking "when?????"

    I don't know what it is like elsewhere, but people in NC seem to be under the impression that the purpose of getting married is to procreate and that if you should accidently procreate outside of marriage, marriage is an immediate necessity.
    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Miss_1565 View Post
    Or what? Or you'll leave as soon as someone returns your rudeness and delete all your posts? I'm so scared.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baldwin View Post
    perhaps you'll fall in love and all the shitty lovechemicals will turn you into a gooey maternal mess.
    I'm so glad my brain doesn't produce those shitty love chemicals. Keeps unnecessary drama out of my life.
    I said, "Hi, Greg. I'm the creepy girl." He chuckled, then wanted a handshake and I gave it. I wanted a hug and he gave it. One of his sons was there, too. Cute. Then Pete got him to autograph my sign for me because I was too polite to ask myself since he was on his way to eat. Pete also took this of photo of him holding it. - 8/2/2014.
    https://twitter.com/PeteParada/statu...56317329436672
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