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Thread: Moving Far Away

  1. #1
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    Default Moving Far Away

    Do you think you have it in yourself to move more than a days drive away?

    I couldn't and I find myself interested in the difference between me and people who do this.

    My main thing is that I would feel like I'm abandoning my relationships with people. I also feel a sense of duty to help the people I'm friends with and I would feel guilty if I moved,

    Once I got there, I think I would be stressed out by trying to adjust to my new life and wouldn't have much time to go out and make a whole new set of friends.

    You're not leaving your old life behind when you move far away, but my perception is that it's pretty close to that.

    Just wanted some insight from people who have done this.
    When they said "sit down", I stood up.

  2. #2
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    Jun 2013
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    Default A very good question, bighead.

    My family are really giving me a difficult time with my life. It's better to shut them up if I were to move out. I'm single, no kids, no boyfriend, no criminal record. It's so weird though like will they miss me? Nawh. Will I miss them? Yea....

  3. #3
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    You just do it. It's not easy, but it's not that fucking hard, either.

    I've been moving around the world since I was a kid. I've lived in six countries, four long-term, switching high schools. You get used to leaving, and you get used to arriving. I'd move again for a decent career option in a heartbeat, as much as I like the people I know in Toronto. It's not a reflection on them, and it's not some new-age wanderlust. At this point, I just know how to move and it doesn't bother me.

    Most people motivate themselves with the promise of new experiences, and those are always in ready supply in new places. New worlds, new languages, new people. New foods, new cultures, new relationships, new drugs, new you. Others sustain themselves with memories of home, remembering why they left or the opportunity that called them away.

    For some people it's extremely difficult, especially once you're over the initial six-month period of excitement and discovery. It's from the end of that to the end of the first year that can be really hard.

    But overall, meh. You think you'd find moving difficult. But you sound like someone who's never done it. You adapt, you move on. Quite often you find things you never would have at home even as you lose some of the day-to-day you've come to know. Nothing wrong with that. It happens just as much if you stay within your square mile, you just don't notice the changes as much.

    The scenery shifts and the world around you acts differently. So what? Life is change, and change is different for everyone. I don't have to fetishize the rush of change like people I know who are consumed with travel - fleetfooted, wanderlust-driven satellites that never seem to touch the ground for fear of getting stuck. But I don't fear the buildings around me being different, or suddenly being a foreigner. I've been a foreigner for almost two decades now. It's okay. If I live the rest of my life in Toronto I will be deeply unsatisfied.

    You leave your old life behind every minute you age. Moving won't change that.
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  4. #4
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    I've always been the type to say "hell yeah I'll move away." I used to really want to. I wanted to travel all over and never stay put. But, for the first time, I live a mere two hours from where I grew up. While I am beginning to carve out a niche for myself here, there are a lot of little pain-in-the-ass things that come into play. I've never been too great at meeting people, and I tend to go into loner mode when I have new surroundings. The introvert in me loves just being in new places because I like to explore and see new things, but it's not always easy to be away from the people you grew up with. I'm still up for facing the challenge of moving far away, because first of all, tons of people do it and their lives end up great, and also, realistically I will probably need to move somewhere for work in the next couple of years. But now I think I understand those challenges better than I used to. It's not so hard to keep in touch with people. If any of my close family members in my hometown were to become seriously ill, I think I would move back without hesitation.

    On another note, I've noticed that a lot of people in the New England/New York/New Jersey tend to stay physically close to their families their whole lives, while in other regions people are actually ashamed to live close to their parents. I think that's actually pretty neat. For all the crap northerners get about being assholes, I think they're a lot nicer to their own families than southerners are. I'd trade southern hospitality- which is basically spreading yourself thin, being ultra-friendly to everyone, being patient in traffic, and cooking food for neighbors that you don't know very well- for the more intimate relationships with close friends and family that are common in the north.
    Last edited by XYlophonetreeZ; 06-29-2013 at 11:58 AM.
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  5. #5
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    Default

    To me, the only issue is lugging stuff around. All I'd really have to move at this point would be my clothes and small things. The rest of the shit I'd probably just leave. I could see how someone would have a hard time if they have a home full of stuff they spent a lot of money on and a lot of furniture, because I don't care what anyone says - moving numerous and/or heavy things is hands down the worst part about moving.

    I don't get this attachment people get to friends, though. I don't mean to sound cold with that, because I love all my good friends, but in the age of social media, it's not like it's difficult to stay in contact with people. And anyone who has been to a school knows that people will come and go, you can't take everyone with you.

  6. #6
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    There's good and bad to it, obviously, but I think the worst thing is when you come to realize you can never go home again.

    I feel this is possibly an essential part of growing up and that everyone experiences it at some point, to some degree, along the path to maturity. But it is experienced so much more strongly when you literally move far from home and then try to return after a prolonged period of time.

    So I suppose I could talk a lot in this thread because I'm actually qualified, for once, to really discuss the subject at hand. But I think I'll leave it at this. The worst thing about moving far from home is that time doesn't simply pause. Your home is not frozen in place just waiting for the day you return. Things change. Buildings get torn down. New things go up. People move on with their lives. You realize that home exists now only in your memories. It might seem obvious, but I promise you, it comes as a shock when you experience it.
    Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Bill Hicks

  7. #7
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    Default

    This thread reminded me of this series: http://www.onceyouleave.com/oyl/home.html

    Really good, if you ask me.

    Anyway, Richard is right. But fortunately for me, I have zero interest in ever going back - in fact, I feel strange referring to it as "home". But if you're not the kind of person who is okay with that, it might not be such a good idea to leave.
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