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Thread: Getting married after a short relationship

  1. #1
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    Default Getting married after a short relationship

    My sister was dating this guy about 6 months ago. It didn't work out mostly because he makes a living by touring the country doing double-neck guitar shows and just isn't around.

    Then, about 2-3 weeks ago, I saw that he had just been married via Facebook. I have to be honest, it kind of rubs me the wrong way that this happened. He's seemed like a pretty opinionated guy and I'm sure he would defend is decision, but I think that's way too soon to get married. Perhaps most annoyingly, it seems as though people that do this are inadvertently making the claim that their love is soooo deep that there was just no reason to wait any longer (you wouldn't understand!). It also seems a bit arrogant in the sense that they are sort of suggesting that they are more perceptive about compatibility than all other people who usually date a minimum of a year before getting married.

    If I was in a relationship in which I quickly felt strongly that we would be together forever, I'd still wait a year just as a precaution.
    When they said "sit down", I stood up.

  2. #2
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    I worked with someone who got engaged, and moved in, with the drummer of a cover band that frequently played at the bar we worked at, after knowing the guy for two weeks. Two. Weeks. It blew up fantastically. It was so bad, that she moved six hours away.

    My husband and I celebrated our two year anniversary a month before our wedding. People were still arguing that it was too soon for us to get married. I definitely don't regret it thus far.
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    I'd say a one year minimum before even thinking about getting married.

    I've been with my girlfirend for 10 months: and things are certainly very serious, but even then I still feel its way too early to start thinking about marriage.
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  4. #4
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    If it feels good do it. When it blows up, live with it. Don't blame anyone else or the other person involved if you jump into something and it dosen't work out. Maybe you should have been a bit more wide eyed. Hell, everything is easy at first in any relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MOTO13 View Post
    If it feels good do it. When it blows up, live with it.
    I...actually really like this.

    It just feels wrong to agree with MOTO.
    Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Bill Hicks

  6. #6
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    I have a friend whom I've known since Junior High. Recently, he and a girl that he has known since, like, elementary school got married... after only dating for about 7 months (maybe more, maybe less). They've known each other for years, yeah, but they decided to tie the knot after only dating for a short amount of time. Mind you, they've known each other for a long time, but they've never been serious acquaintances. She had her circle of friends and he his own. Now, I haven't really talked to my friend that much since I graduated high school, nor have I spoken to him about his recent marriage. I'm very happy for them and there could be a really good connection between them, they seem like a great couple with good chemistry, but the amount of time between them getting together and then getting engaged seemed a little fast. Granted, he's about to enter the next stage of his life (after college) and it's something he feels he should think about and take seriously. I don't blame him, but to jump into something that quickly I don't think is a good idea. Even with how serious things got between me and my ex, we both agreed to avoid those big commitments until after a year or so.

    I don't know if it's something people really think about anymore, especially with the divorce rate like it is, it seems people see marriage as something thats fun to do for a while, then quit and move onto the next one. With a mindset, might as well stick to just dating (less money involved)

  7. #7
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    What a terrible idea.


    I remember I thought I was so in love with my ex about a year into our relationship. 6 months later I fucking hated him.

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    A lot of people can manage to filter out their bad qualities from showing for extended period of time. And it's only after knowing them for a long time that you see there flaws, which you may or may not be able to justify.

    In fact, that's how most manipulative people work. When you first get to know them, they act decently towards you, but as they slowly pick up on ways to take advantage of you, they progressively become more and more of an ass.
    When they said "sit down", I stood up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bighead384 View Post
    A lot of people can manage to filter out their bad qualities from showing for extended period of time. And it's only after knowing them for a long time that you see there flaws, which you may or may not be able to justify.
    Hmmm, this sounds like...everybody.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by bighead384 View Post
    In fact, that's how most manipulative people work. When you first get to know them, they act decently towards you, but as they slowly pick up on ways to take advantage of you, they progressively become more and more of an ass.
    I don't think that's quite manipulation. When you first meet someone, depending on the person, you try to make a good first impression. The more you get to know them, the more comfortable you become with the person, and more and more other qualities show through, be they good or bad. It's just how people are.

    Unless I'm misreading and picking up on something else entirely, in which case never mind.
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