Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16

Thread: So you guys called it...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Transexual, Transylvania
    Posts
    2,575


    1 members appreciate this post.

    Default So you guys called it...

    It didn't work.
    A little over a year ago I posted about issues in my relationship and asked for help and a lot of you guys said it probably wouldn't work out. It actually ended almost five months ago but I still cannot cope with it at all and it has not gotten any easier, it has been getting increasingly worse. If any of you guys have any ideas on what I should do to help, please let me know. I don't really know how to deal with a break up and I am still completely in love with him, despite knowing that he was a jerk to me at times and I probably shouldn't be. Now I'm going downhill and this was pretty much my last resort because I can't really deal with it and I really need some advice. It was kind of an interesting situation and from what I was told by my previous therapist and the school guidance counselor it was quite a bit different than a lot of break ups. It is also really hard because he was the first friend I really made at school and he was my best friend for three years before we even dated and we were together for two years and now I don't even have contact with him as a friend and that really sucks and makes it worse. He'd been the person that helped me through hard times for quite a while, and now he pretty much is the hard time.

    ***Side note: Please do not tell me to talk to a professional because I am trying but I had to switch therapists and the transition is taking longer than expected because the clinic didn't know if they should keep me with a pediatric therapist or an adult therapist but in the meantime I need to figure something out.

    Thanks in advance for any advice. I'm not trying to throw more shit at you guys, I just don't really know what else to do and the few friends who know both me and my ex fairly well are just as confused as I am and they don't really know how I should try to cope with it and I feel like I am probably going to annoy them if I keep trying to get help from them.
    Also, I don't feel comfortable writing a lot of details but I didn't know who I could really message and ask specifically either, so if you're one of the people I know and you need to know a little bit more of what happened, please inbox me so I know. Mainly though, I really just want to find some way to cope with this because it is really hard and at this point it seems like there is now distracting myself from thinking about him.
    Last edited by dexter12296566; 08-11-2013 at 05:27 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    Reading this thread made me throw up.
    Because I'm already sick and the color scheme must have set me off. Sorry about that.
    Quote Originally Posted by XYlophonetreeZ View Post
    Also, sometimes I'm not sober. Sometimes I make threads when I'm not sober.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega Man View Post
    You're too late. I've already infiltrated the Offspring forums. Next, it's the world!
    Quote Originally Posted by MOTO13 View Post
    Cranking it into a red solo cup while watching 40 year old re-runs of I Dream of Jeanie all the while snorting black pepper and knocking back shots of Jack.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Nottingham
    Posts
    9,895


    Default

    Posting something like this is not really a smart thing to do. However, it is clear that you posted this out of genuine desperation. I hope everyone else will recognize that and act like decent human beings.

    I don't know you. I vaguely remember you used to post here, and I suspect I used to make fun of you, so I'm probably not someone you would expect any help from. And, actually, I don't know that I can be of any help to you because I really have no advice for you. I really have no answers. I wish I could tell you how to move on from a break up, I wish I could tell you how to stop loving someone who is bad for you, because I would really like to know those things myself.

    You need to speak with a professional, which you already know and apparently you're working on it. Can you speed up the process? That really is your best course of action. Until then, if you're feeling desperate and have no one better to speak to, you can always pm me. Again, I have no advice or answers for you, but you can talk to me if you want to.

    I hope this is an unnecessary precaution, but I have to say it; harming yourself in any way would only make your situation worse. You know that, right? If you feel that you're at risk of harming yourself you need to contact someone immediately, try the Samaritans if you don't have anyone else.
    Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.” – Bill Hicks

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    People's Republic of Cork
    Posts
    1,868


    1 members appreciate this post.

    Default

    I've never really been heartbroken before, so I don't really know how you feel, but a few of my friends have felt something like that before (perhaps not so serious). All I know is that although it took a few of them months to get over it all, they eventually did, with time.

    And although I've never been the one to be broken up with, and I've never really been truly in love with someone, I have experienced having to "move on" which can also be tough (nowhere near as tough as it is for you obviously).
    I really think the best things to get over someone (or some experience) is to talk with people and keep busy with friends, or to immerse yourself in something new.
    There's nothing better than being able to hang out with good friends for a few days, or get a new hobby and make new friends. After a bad breakup I joined the university archery team and that whole part of my life was forgotten because I was too busy meeting new people and going to competitions. So maybe you could do something like that? I also started reading a lot more, which kept me busy when I was alone.

    You've probably heard that shit so many times, but I can only say it again. Keeping busy is the best thing you can do. I try keep as busy as I can these days, as I am the only single person out of my friends, so sometimes I get a bit down. But then I realise I have no responsibilities towards anyone significant other person in my life, no emotional blackmailing, no arguments, no wasting money on anyone but me, no jealousy... I sound bitter as fuck. But I'm not. I'm happy enough, and pretty soon I'm going away to Africa and then doing a PhD so I don't even have time for relationships. And you shouldn't ever need a relationship, because it's always good to be yourself and not part of someone else.

    Wow, that sounded so disgustingly mushy. I make myself sick.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    4,071


    1 members appreciate this post.

    Default

    Just stay busy. I've never dealt with specifically what you are dealing with, but I know heartbreak. Just... stay busy... that is... until you can get the help you need.

    I do music, but whatever works for you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Miss_1565 View Post
    Or what? Or you'll leave as soon as someone returns your rudeness and delete all your posts? I'm so scared.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Bratislava, Slovakia
    Posts
    5,802


    1 members appreciate this post.

    Default

    Be prepared for every option in your life and don't predict anything for the future. Now's the right time to live in the moment. Do all the things that make you happy. Do all the things that made you happy before you met him. Enjoy the crap out of it.

    Dammit, even The Offspring, the reason of this BBS' existence, can help you with some hopeful lyrics:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK6mSbi5CFs

    It may be tough now, but not uncurable.
    Quote Originally Posted by jsmak84 View Post
    Burn it up because you do not call ignition ............ Because ignition is born green and then ripens and becomes burn it up, which is yellow, then darkens and becomes a song that has yet to be published and will appear in a collection of b-sides and brown nell'accezione this song is a song from the session discarded of ignition.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    DTLA -The city of angels
    Posts
    731


    1 members appreciate this post.

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dexter12296566 View Post
    It didn't work.
    A little over a year ago I posted about issues in my relationship and asked for help and a lot of you guys said it probably wouldn't work out. It actually ended almost five months ago but I still cannot cope with it at all and it has not gotten any easier, it has been getting increasingly worse. If any of you guys have any ideas on what I should do to help, please let me know. I don't really know how to deal with a break up and I am still completely in love with him, despite knowing that he was a jerk to me at times and I probably shouldn't be. Now I'm going downhill and this was pretty much my last resort because I can't really deal with it and I really need some advice. It was kind of an interesting situation and from what I was told by my previous therapist and the school guidance counselor it was quite a bit different than a lot of break ups. It is also really hard because he was the first friend I really made at school and he was my best friend for three years before we even dated and we were together for two years and now I don't even have contact with him as a friend and that really sucks and makes it worse. He'd been the person that helped me through hard times for quite a while, and now he pretty much is the hard time.

    ***Side note: Please do not tell me to talk to a professional because I am trying but I had to switch therapists and the transition is taking longer than expected because the clinic didn't know if they should keep me with a pediatric therapist or an adult therapist but in the meantime I need to figure something out.

    Thanks in advance for any advice. I'm not trying to throw more shit at you guys, I just don't really know what else to do and the few friends who know both me and my ex fairly well are just as confused as I am and they don't really know how I should try to cope with it and I feel like I am probably going to annoy them if I keep trying to get help from them.
    Also, I don't feel comfortable writing a lot of details but I didn't know who I could really message and ask specifically either, so if you're one of the people I know and you need to know a little bit more of what happened, please inbox me so I know. Mainly though, I really just want to find some way to cope with this because it is really hard and at this point it seems like there is now distracting myself from thinking about him.
    God Bless you sweetie. I know you are going through some shitty shit. The last thing you want to here is, what doesn't kill you only makes you tougher, keep busy, time will heal all, yada yada... From my experience in shitty times is to deal with it. One of the hardest things you will do in life is dealing with life. Accept the situation for what it is, and then accept that your life has changed. Then be honest about how you feel about all of it. Most importantly you have to acknowledge your feelings and why you feel the way you do. Also you need to release your emotions and feelings, is you have a great friend who will just simply be there to listen to you without judgement then confide in them, but if you don't then write down and burn it to cleanse yourself from the negative energy. It's a sad truth but no matter what, you are going through a difficult time in your life. You're gonna have to go through a mourning for your loss and that is something that only gets better with time and new experiences to fill your life. With all of my heart God Bless you. I've been there, I know you're pain, and 100% completely understand what you are going through. I will be there for you. PM first and then we can set up the best way for us to communicate, so I can be there for you when you need it. You will get through this and smile again. Just the fact that you made a brave move to post here what you are going through and were honest in needing help tells me that you will see happy days again. xoxoxoxox I'm gonna say a prayer for you too, if that's ok

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Transexual, Transylvania
    Posts
    2,575


    Default

    Thanks guys, for your advice and acceptance of my post as well. Yellow, thank you a lot that was really sweet and Dave, you have no idea how much I listen to that song. It is actually something that has helped me through a lot. I have been trying to keep busy and I do a lot of art work now. I was actually planning on posting some of it. I also started playing bass a little bit again. Thanks, again guys.
    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    Reading this thread made me throw up.
    Because I'm already sick and the color scheme must have set me off. Sorry about that.
    Quote Originally Posted by XYlophonetreeZ View Post
    Also, sometimes I'm not sober. Sometimes I make threads when I'm not sober.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega Man View Post
    You're too late. I've already infiltrated the Offspring forums. Next, it's the world!
    Quote Originally Posted by MOTO13 View Post
    Cranking it into a red solo cup while watching 40 year old re-runs of I Dream of Jeanie all the while snorting black pepper and knocking back shots of Jack.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    South Jersey
    Posts
    4,366


    Default

    Who is probably more attractive out of the two of you?
    When they said "sit down", I stood up.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Transexual, Transylvania
    Posts
    2,575


    1 members appreciate this post.

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bighead384 View Post
    Who is probably more attractive out of the two of you?
    I'm not sure why that matters but you decide. I don't really know.
    Me

    Him


    Uploaded with ImageShack.com
    Quote Originally Posted by T-6005 View Post
    Reading this thread made me throw up.
    Because I'm already sick and the color scheme must have set me off. Sorry about that.
    Quote Originally Posted by XYlophonetreeZ View Post
    Also, sometimes I'm not sober. Sometimes I make threads when I'm not sober.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega Man View Post
    You're too late. I've already infiltrated the Offspring forums. Next, it's the world!
    Quote Originally Posted by MOTO13 View Post
    Cranking it into a red solo cup while watching 40 year old re-runs of I Dream of Jeanie all the while snorting black pepper and knocking back shots of Jack.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Nederland
    Posts
    3,462


    Default

    Try to remember that every time you face problems/negative emotions in life, it is also an opportunity to derive something good from for the future. This may be hard to do right now, but imagine how you could be doing something today/tomorrow that makes you forget about the current feelings and provides relief. Bottom line: Focus on the future and not on the past!
    Quote Originally Posted by SåS View Post
    Then we got 1000+ views on our myspace, that was our biggest achievement
    Quote Originally Posted by RexDarr View Post
    Our goal is to find a drummer & rythm guitarist, record a 5 song demo, get on the radio,


    The Ricetigers

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •