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Thread: The Offspring Underground's birthday gifts to the Offspring.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

    Default The Offspring Underground's birthday gifts to the Offspring.

    I couldn't find the thread about the Offspring Underground's gifts to the Offspring for their birthdays this year, so I'm remaking it.

    The Offspring Underground are a close-knit group of hardcore Offspring fans from many countries all over the world and we made some special gifts for the band this year.


    Greg K
    Comic by Suzy

    I had the idea to make a gift about Greg for his birthday, but more of a gag gift for Noodles, since he is the only one who will actually see it. So the UG made a list of ridiculous "Did you know...?" Greg K facts, one for each year of his life. I am awaiting the final one from Noodles, if he replies. Some of us contributed more faKcts than others, but we decided to randomize them and not sign them. Screw typos!
    Contributors: @TheMelyssaK @chartrand1331 @Jog_A_Dog @SuzyT_01 @ @CircusVoid @Puscha08 @CamilleJuarez_ @MuziqEqualzLife @RodyMaxwell @NitroGoofEnergy @mikehb681 @ToriOC @JavIgnition_

    ...Greg's last name is just the letter K?
    ...Greg K is actually a robot made by Ibanez?
    ...11 of the 12 men to walk on the Moon were boy scouts? Greg K was the other one...
    ...'Da Hui' was originally named 'Greg K'?
    ... Greg K is a wizard from the medieval era? That's why he never gets old?!?!?
    ...the name Gregory means "watchful?"
    ...Greg K has a brother called Greg O and his parents use to call them O.K.?
    ...that Greg K rock climbs on the inside of volcanoes?
    ...Melyssa K smiles whenever Greg K sings?
    ...Greg K has that kind of humor that he'd love this "did you know" fact?
    ...the house fly hums in the middle octave key of F? So does Greg K.
    ...that Greg paints flowers in his free time?
    ...Greg is a huge fan of My Little Pony?
    ...that Greg K talks in his sleep? That's where Dexter gets the inspiration for his songs... So basically, Greg K is the mastermind behind The Offspring!
    ...that Greg K is not afraid of parentheses?
    ...Gregory likes to sing along songs of the Spice Girls while he's washing the dishes?
    ...that Greg K uses red lipstick when he's not touring?
    ...Greg K actually posts all the Offspring's tweets?
    ...that Greg K can sneeze with his eyes open?! is possible that the "K" in Greg K could stand for 'thousand?'
    ...Brazilian people laugh "KKKKKKKKKKK" in honor of Greg K?
    ...Greg is a ninja dispatched by the Yakuza for highly classified missions?
    Who'd win a fight between Chuck Norris and a Tiger? Greg K.
    ...that Greg K stands on puppies in a dark alley? *plays cricket track*
    ...Greg K should let Melyssa K interview him?
    ...Greg K often dresses up as Dexter at live shows to do the singing got him?
    ...Greg K has an unknown number of illegitimate children around the world?
    ...Greg started his career as circus clown, but he got so popular that people demanded Greg-only shows?
    ...that Greg K is Dexter's penis and Melyssa is Greg's penis? Gotta credit Rody for this one! takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with? Greg, stop eating celery!
    ...that when Greg K turns 50, he will no longer be a wizard. He will have graduated to Mage!
    ...Greg K can mimic the distress call of a baby monkey to lure a monkey to its doom?!
    ... Greg picked to play bass 'cuz it rhymes with ace?
    ...that Greg K did all the research for Dexter's paper?
    ...that Greg K is a superhero who fights crime with he bass of badass justice?
    ...Greg K can get a woman pregnant just by looking at her... that's why he stares at the ground while playing and straight out while singing!
    ...Greg K gets drunk drinking Coke?
    ...there are versions of whack-a-mole arcade games where you have to hit the moles with a bass, called Greg-a-Mole?
    ...Greg K doesn't really exist? He's just a figment of the world's imagination.
    ...that Greg K can do everything better than Chuck Norris??
    ...Greg's voice is so beautiful that he doesn't speak much so he doesn't fall in love with himself?
    ...during the "Black Death", many people in Florence participated in orgies and got heavily drunk, thinking that it would kill off the disease? It was Greg K's idea!
    ...that a stellar constellation was once names after Greg K, but when everyone started being born under that sign, it was taken out of the record?
    ...that Greg K is soooo sexy that he gives himself a wink every time he sees himself in a mirror?
    Do you know what Greg K's favorite number is? FORE!!
    ...Greg has a golf circuit in his bathroom so he can golf in his spare time while pooping?
    ...Greg's dancing was censored out of some concert clips because it was too addictive?
    ...only one other fact about Greg on this list is true besides this one?
    Last edited by "Melyssa K" Kennedy; 01-20-2014 at 03:59 PM.
    I said, "Hi, Greg. I'm the creepy girl." He chuckled, then wanted a handshake and I gave it. I wanted a hug and he gave it. One of his sons was there, too. Cute. Then Pete got him to autograph my sign for me because I was too polite to ask myself since he was on his way to eat. Pete also took this of photo of him holding it. - 8/2/2014.
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