Domino's is fucking awful, Pizza Hut is acceptable but so greasy it always makes me feel terrible afterwards and so Papa John's would usually win out when ordering cheap chain pizza. I liked their pizza well enough, but their breadsticks and garlic butter were great.
The best pizza I had was from non-chain places in Portland. Much more expensive than chain though.
And yes, in my experience British pizza is total crap and insanely overpriced. Can you believe people actually love Domino's here? And, if anything, Domino's actually tastes considerably worse here. I've also just generally stopped going out to eat because the service in restaurants is basically non-existent compared to what you'd expect in the states, everything is horribly overpriced and the food generally isn't anything special anyway. It's so sad when British people get excited recommending restaurants to me and then I discover it's just shit and they don't know any better. Now, this should not be used to support the argument that British food is crap. British food can be fantastic, just more in the home-cooked area, or basic fish and chip shop, greasy spoon cafe or pub grub areas.
Bri, I think your ant story is currently winning. By a lot.