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Thread: so, that's weird

  1. #1
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    Default so, that's weird

    i don't like posting threads about nothing but since the forum is dead anyway, I thought I'd tell you about my night... It also gives me a reason to look busy which is important right now.

    See, I'm in a police station, waiting to see a client that I don't know but who apparently like to show his dick in public... I don't know the details and I just hope that at least, it's not in front of a school.
    That's the second time I have that sort of offender this month. Last one was a woman. An artist actually who tried to make a 19th century painting more "lively" by taking the pose under it during a busy day at the Orsay museum.
    The painting is called L'origine du Monde by Gustave Courbet. Google it. I've never seen the cops so nice with an offender before. Especially the male kind...

    Anyway.

    Tonight, I'm waiting, alone in the hall with one officer when a guy comes in. He doesn't speak French, he's Spanish and speaks English. The cop doesn't, so after a few minutes, I tell the cop I speak English and maybe I can help him since the guy seems pretty distressed.
    And he explains that he is Spanish, used to work in Italy and is followed by the mafia.
    OK.
    Instructed by the cop, I ask him where they are.
    "everywhere".
    OK.
    Now, I know the cop and I think that he's paranoid.
    Which is confirmed when, looking at the cop, he says to me in English "ha, I get it. He won't help me. He's earning time so that his boss can come and kill me".
    I smile gently and tell him I really don't think so while Cop is checking the passport... And asks me what spanishoid told me.
    "well, he thinks you want to kill him"
    He laughs, which doesn't help conforting the man and then tells me :"I have a colleague who speaks Spanish and she owes me one !". He proceeds to get her with a sadistic smile and now, mafianoid and I are waiting for her and he's talking to me, explaining it's the 11th time he escaped them. And I know he's just plain crazy but..
    What if ?

    Currently it's almost midnight and I am praying and begging they'd let me see my dick flasher, so I can go home.
    Last edited by Harleyquiiinn; 06-17-2014 at 02:56 PM.
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  2. #2
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    Default

    Here's hoping you saw your congenial dick artiste and went home.

    Paranoid people are always strange to be around. They're generally super harmless but they just give off a vibe like they're just off from the rest of the world and it's extremely unsettling. Almost as if they operate on a slightly different frequency where shadows are slightly darker and other people are just masks for things out to get you.

    London is packed with people like that after midnight. If you're with a group of friends they're just semi-charming oddballs you can talk to for a few minutes until they and their conspiracy theories drift away. If you're alone you never quite feel like you can trust people like that, so you try and avoid them but it just draws them to you! Well, that and the fact that when I'm drinking I love to talk to strangers and homeless people and just chill. So that may be on me a little bit too. But I don't like the paranoid. They're just too dramatic for me.

    Also I definitely see the connection with the painting.
    Last edited by T-6005; 06-17-2014 at 05:59 PM.
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  3. #3
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    The most unsettling thing about being around the severely paranoid is, for me, the sense of just how fragile sanity is and how easily it can simply evaporate. Poof. Gone. You're batshit now.

    Harley, I love that some part of you does the "what if" thing. Where would we be as a species if people didn't occasionally indulge in that sort of thing? You might have just watched one too many episodes of the X-Files (like, any of the ones without Mulder) but that's ok too.

    Oh, for anyone currently at work, googling that painting may be a bad idea.
    Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Bill Hicks

  4. #4
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    That's exactly true what you both said. The guy seemed normal enough. He came in with his backpack, casually told to the cops how he was followed and just waited.

    I ended up seeing dick flasher, who technically was more a dick masturbator so I don't know what happened to him... All I know is that the cops upstaires were making tons of jokes about the sicilian mafia being in Paris but they were also in a "what if ?" perspective, trying to contact Interpol.

    My client was a bit crazy too in a very different way. He was basically not there. He's been caught touching himself behind a swimming pool. But it was a closed swimming pool so it's not even like he was looking at anyone in a swimming suit. The funny thing is when the cop (knowing the answer, but they got to ask anyway) asked him if he was masturbating and he answered, outraged, "no, I was just touching myself, I'm not sick, I have my limits !"... So the cop tried to explain that there was not really any difference, it was still masturbation and that his dick was out anyway...

    All through the hearing, quietly sitted on my chair, all I could think of was this :

    ___________________________________________

    All the Beautiful Things you do

    Respect my authoritah !

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